• good days without you - [life miniature]



    recently i feel really frustrated.This frustration comes from various facts of life:

    1,being isolated by the environment(it's somewhat better to say being isolated by my own solitary);

    2,a feeling of being abandoned by the real life....

    ......what can be called a real life?i think that's exactly what i'm looking for..i'm like a blunt knife,always tempting to peel the surface off the core of life..however,i hate to see when the core is rotten and stinks,i'm nobody,as everyone has left me alone on different ocassions,the bus,the road,the suburban areas of city...ect.I hate to walk alone at night but i know i have to,though,it's not a hard time.

    I don't want to travel that far for the hourly paid salary,though it's essential and sufficient enough for life.i don't want to know about what's the function of chloroplasts,i don't want to explain how cytoplasm flows either,that's what i've already forgotten.But sometimes i need to remind myself of the things i didn't need,because i take enough responsibilities and i have to go on.....how do i know it's exactly called"vacuoles" and in England it's got the same usage between animal cells and plant cells?Hell!

    I don't want to follow your steps,though sometimes i think of you.I mean,you met my needs when i was waiting for a savior.You are a man with so much common grounds with me,you are the one who has got the aura of both elegance and decadance,maybe you don't notice how does it impact my heart deeply.....It's all my fault,because of my illness of the heart couldn't get me out of the good times.You are something good,something to be memorized,even if the memory only upsets me.

    Please,please don't blame me of missing a piece of you,please forgive my wrong words as i can't find anything to hold on to.I need something to be my ground,somewhere i can sit all night long and talk over a cup of coffee.I need leisure times and i need you friends,i need something to make me a possitive integer.Now i'm a fraction.i'm a negative fraction,i'm an unfinished building,but i have to finish it with my bare hands.

    Where do the good days go?Or am i just complaining about the things i have?



    写意 2010-10-18